God's continuing work in me

Jamie's e-mail!

2010-11-04T14:11:00.001-04:00

Hi family,

I have about 10 minutes left with email because I had to email some people personal/individual ones, but I'm going to try to sum up my week in that time! :)

SOO this week has been a rollercoaster. Busy as always, but so wonderful. On Tuesday we had another apostle come to speak with us. Elder Richard G. Scott. His talk was AMAZING! He promised us so many blessings using the authority he has as an apostle. Especially he blessed the sisters with a protective shield that we may be aware of danger and be protected from it. It was very powerful! I gained a stronger testimony as to why I'm here on my mission. I know that I love to serve people, and that's partially why I came, but what I grew most in this week is the knowledge that I can bring people the same happiness and eternal salvation that I received from the elders who taught me. I want that for everyone I love in my life. I know taht everyone lives different lifestyles, but I know how important it is, and I simply just want to live with my family forever. I know taht the way to do this is through this church and everything that I am teaching. I love this church and this gospel so much I know that the sacrafices I'm making will be so worth it!

Also this week, we did a lot of teaching fake investigators. I never knew that I could feel such love for someone that I never knew before, but I know that during our teaching lessons, I felt God's love for them so strong, even though it wasn't completely a real lesson and they weren't real investigators. I am grateful for this love i feel because it makes it that much easier to help them and want to bring them this gospel. I love the work I am doing and I know I am being blessed for it! I know that as I work hard and continue in the work, that you as my family will also receive the blessings of my work! :)

I am feeling so much better from my cold! I know that the priesthood blessing I was given worked and I have felt so much better from it!

Half of our district left for spokane washington on Monday this week. :/ it was so sad to see them leave because chances are I'll never see them again :( We've all grown so close, but I know that we're going on to bigger and better things, which makes leaving a little easier. I have pictures of my disrict that I will send you.

I leave tomorrow morning around 6am for Salt Lake City! :) I'm totally excited! I will get to the mission area and meet with our mission president! I'm excited for the mission to actually begin after this intense training! I'm grateful for my time here at the MTC, but I'm also looking forward to getting out there into my mission! :)

Well family that's about all I have time to write, but I will write letters to some of you! Just know how much I love you and am missing you! :) YOu're all on my mind and in my prayers! :) Be well and try to pay attention to the blessings in your life each day. Instead of thinking of these blessings as luck, or destiny, fate, whatever, try thinking of them as blessings from God, our Heavenly Father because I know how much love he has for you. He wants you to be happy and bless your life! :) I love you all and am grateful for your support in all of this! :) You're the best family I could ever ask for! :)

Love so much,

xoxo

Jamie (Sister Long

2010-11-04T14:10:00.002-04:00

Hi family! :)

So my second week here has been good! I feel like I am learning so much and have had some wonderful experiences. I had sort of a breakdown on Wednesday after my first Preperation day (p-day) because it was hard after having a whole day to myself to think about family and such to jump back into work and keeping focused. I prayed alot after that felt much comfort and strength come over me in the following days. I have been slightly sick these past few days with a stuffy nose and sore throat, but I am feeling SO much better. the nose is still running and cough is present, but my energy is back and my head doesn't feel like it weighs 200 lbs lol I received a Priesthood Blessing from one of the elders in my district. A priesthood blessing is when they lay thier hands on my head and bless me with good health. It takes a lot of faith to both give and receive one because you are trusting that God will make it work! It worked quite well because the following day I felt soo much better and ever since then I've been getting much much better! :) It was a cool experience to have.

So classes have been good! I have been learning a lot about how to teach each lesson and mostly how to apply what we're teaching to the needs of the person we're teaching. It shouldn't be a robotic lesson that just spits out doctrine, but should help them to apply to their life and help them see how it will bless them. It has been quite the experience! :)

the elders in my district are so sweet to us sisters! :) They've given us heaps of cough drops and medicine! :) They've been very kind and respectful. My companion, Sister McDonnell and I LOVE our district! We all get along so well!

Well we've had a couple more big meetings where authority figures in the MTC (missionary training center) give talks to inspire and motivate us. those have been great! :) An apostle came to talk to us on Tuesday night, so a week ago! It was AWESOME! It was Elder Russell M. Nelson. I heard him talk before when he came to speak at BYU-Idaho! He's a great speaker!

The elders in our district have resorted to writing sister mcdonnell and I letters because we don't get any while the elders probably get 3-5 every day! If you can't imagine, it's quite discouraging to not hear from anyone. I know you're all busy and I don't put any blame on you. I know you're all probably doing just fine, but if you ever feel like dropping a quick note that I can get the same day, you can use Dearelder.com. Just go on the site and it will ask for the missionaries address. Type that in and write a message. They email it to the MTC and print it off here and it goes in my mailbox the same day. It's easy peasy lemon squeezy! :) Keep in mind though that if you're sending packages or mailing letters, I am leaving here on November 3rd. Which is next Wednesday at 6am so be mindful of that as you send mail! :)

So what all has happened at home? How is everyone? Is sam still at home with "the itch"? lol I hope she's feeling better. how are you doing Dad and Pat?! It was nice to get a dear elder from you Dad to hear how you're doing! I hope you had a great weekend and had fun in Connecticut and at Uncle Fred's b-day party! :)

Aunt Sue, it was good to hear that everything is going well! I'm glad that Meg and Joel and baby joel are doing well! It's good to hear everything worked out with ben and his gf! :) I hope that things continue to go well! I'm so glad I got to see you before I left! It was definitely a blessing! :) I love you!!!!

Grannie and Grampy, I miss you so much! How are you feeling?! Hopefully you're in good health! :) If you can't figure out thisdearelder.com thing don't worry about it, but I was hoping maybe you could send me Sylvie, Joanne, and Judy's address! I would love to write them! :) I love you both so much! You're always on my mind and in my prayers! :)

Sam sam bo bam! :) what's crackalackin sista? i hear you're home cuz of the itch!!!! that stinks! Did steve and ty ty have to go home too? :( sad day! Well I hope it goes away soon and you start feeling better! I miss you mucho and would love to hear from you :( send me a dearelder thingy, talk to matt's family if you don't know how to do it, they're experts! :) Tell them i say hi too! Sooo you should go to church since you're home! I know everyone would love to see you, if you can't make it, at least stop by the shamps and definitely the sessions, they'd love to see you! :) I miss you too much sweetie and think of you often. Haha I talk about you with my companion ALL the time! :) It's so wonderful she has 2 sisters that sound a lot like you! I've written you 2 letters, I hope you've gotten them! I'll send another today! :) miss you and love you goober! :)

Danielle, okay so I forgot to add danielle's address to my list so can someone email this to her please?! I love you dani and I sent you a letter last week! I hope you got it! I miss you tons and hope things with your apartment and job search are going well! write me at dearelder.com k? LOVE YOU!

For all the other relatives I wasn't able to write because I forgot to add their addresses too :/ I will do that next week! I love you all and send my thanks for your support! :) I'll try to send pictures soon! :)

love,

Jamie (Sister Long) :)

2010-11-04T14:10:00.001-04:00

Well Hi family ! :)

Here I am with my companion writing emails in Salt Lake City! I got here yesterday and we had orientation. First we went to temple square, which was just as gorgeous as ever! Next we met our new companions (the girl I am with as a missionary), then we went out and tried to talk to people on the street. It was fun! :) So things here are a bit different, in my area, I not only have 1 ward to be a missionary in (like most missions in the east) but I have 22 wards! :) SOO many! haha It'll be a lot to keep organized and remember, but I think it'll come with time. I'm excited to keep meeting people and working hard! :) We taught the first half of the plan of salvation to a 12 year old boy named Steven last night. His dad was given custody over him after his mom got messed up with drugs or something of that sort. It's sad, but it's cool that he's so willing to take the lessons and hear what we have to say. He's quiet, but a way nice kid! :) The Plan of salvation is the plan that God has for us as a whole. It talks about where we come from before this life and how we lived with God in Heaven before as spirits until we came onto the earth to receive a body and gain experience here. It talks about our purpose for why we are here on the earth and where we go after this life. It's a fun lesson to teach. There's a lot of information to get through, that's why we only did half the lesson. It's something that I know to be true. I know through prayer and receiving an answer from the Holy Ghost. I know that I am blessed to know that as a family, if we are all obedient to God's commandments, we can be together as a family forever. I'm grateful for the knowledge of this truth because it means I'll get to see my mom again and live with her. I know that has blessed my life and brought me much happiness to know this.

We stay busy, but it's fun! I love what I'm doing and I'm excited to get to talk with more people! It's so funny because everyone is so willing to take care of us here! We pretty much get to go to a member of the church's house every night for dinner! :) If I come home 100 lbs heavier, you'll know why! lol jk I'm trying to be good about eating well and good sized portions.

I'm excited to be here and talking to people about what I love. My companion is wonderful. She's from Williamsburg, Virginia. She's way nice! I'll try to send some pics soon! :) So since I wrote just tuesday, I don't have a whole lot to talk about, but just know that I've arrived in Salt Lake City safely and that I'm happy here and having a blast! There's a blog that the Mission President's wife, Sister Winn, keeps and she posts all the pictures she takes of us missionaries and posts updates on what we're doing on our mission as a whole.I haven't been on the site, but you can go on it, if you'd like to see pictures or just read an update. The site ismamawinnsplace@blogspot.com. The Mission President here and his wife are SOOO nice! :) Sister Winn is soo funny! :) She's the blondest most bubbly woman I've met! She's wonderful and comforting!: ) It was so nice to meet her :) President Winn is very friendly and kind. I'm grateful. OHH so guess what?! The area I'm in right now, is the area that my mission president lives and guess who lives there as well? PRESIDENT THOMAS S. MONSON!!!!! This is the Prophet that we have on the earth today! It's so incredible! My companion said that he was in church with her on this past Sunday! :) He is such a kind man, he loves to tell stories and he is just so filled with love! :) If you want, look up some talks that he's given just as an example. One video that I love is one that's called something like a lesson I learned as a boy or something. you can look it up on youtube. or if you go to lds.orgyou can click on a link that says mormon messages. It's part of youtube and you can watch videos that are soooo inspiring! :) I looove watching them, they're great to watch even if you aren't a member of the church!

Well not a whole lot else to report on. My next preperation day where I get to email and such is on Wednesday so 6 days from now! I love you all and hope to hear from you soon! Here's my address in case you don't have it:

Sister Jamie Long

Utah Salt Lake City Mission

3487 South 1300 East (West Entrance)

Salt Lake City, UT 84106

Love you so much and Miss you tons! You're all in my thoughts and prayers! :)

Love and Blessings,

Jamie

blog of shame haha

2010-09-10T01:22:00.002-04:00

Well here I am writing a new post 3 or 4 months after my last one. I can't keep a blog to save my life. *sigh* Oh well, atleast you get a couple updates per year lol I'm going to try to use this blog to keep everyone updated on my mission so maybe my dad can post my emails on this site so that everyone is kept up to date! :)

So as an update, I've been home for a couple months now and I've just been working and visiting with friends and family. Shortly after getting home, I received my mission call that I'm going to Salt Lake City Utah! :) I leave October 9th to fly out to Utah! I'm way excited and while it's not Japan (haha Lacey) it's still going to be way fun. It'll be lots of hard work, but I know that it will be rewarding! I'm looking forward to it! I am super sad and nervous to leave my family and friends behind because I know a lot can happen in a year and a half. It will be good for me to just rely on my Heavenly Father to protect those that I love at home. I am grateful for such a loving and supportive family. They only want me to be happy and safe, and I'm grateful for that love and confidence in me to make the right decisions.

Not a whole lot has gone one while I've been home, honestly, I've just been working and visiting with people haha it's not the most exciting thing in the world, but I love being home and it's good to earn money again and see my friends, so I'm happy with it! :) At church, my calling is the assistant gospel essentials teacher. It's awesome! I love teaching and it's so great to prepare each lesson and learn so much about it from others' participation. I have been blessed from my Heavenly Father with such great callings in the church! :)

I suppose it's getting late and I should get some sleep. One thing I will not enjoy is getting up early every morning for my mission. haha well there's atleast a brief update on what I've been up to! :)

Been awhile

2010-06-11T14:53:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it's been since February since I've written here. I'm quite awful in keeping up with writing in a journal or blog. I thought I would write a post to catch people up on what has been going on recently. Things have been good, crazy, fun, frusterating, and exciting, all at once! haha

So to start off, I came back to Rexburg, ID after going home for 10 days. It was nice to be back. I could automatically feel the spirit upon returning. It was a wonderful feeling. I was so happy to see my roommates again! I had missed them so much! So I started right in with classes as I got back. I have really enjoyed my classes this semester. I am taking Juvenile Delinquency, Light and Sound, Cognition, Group Dynamics, and Book of Mormon. Life moved pretty quickly, each week seemed to pass by faster than the last. I got called to be a Sunday School teacher, which I was so excited for! A little later, I got another calling of compassionate service leader. I was so happy to accept that calling. It seemed perfect for me because I love helping, serving, and loving people. I feel so blessed this semester with such a great experience in church, in my classes, and in life in general. I've taught a few lessons so far and I've learned so much about the stories in the Old Testament. I have loved teaching these lessons to the students here. It's so rewarding! I have also loved being a compassionate service leader. I know that I have been blessed from this calling. I have absolutely loved making people who are struggling feel loved and letting them know that I am there for them. :)

So my roommate, Lacey, and I decided we wanted to try out for volleyball. We did just that and both made different teams. I had never really played on a volleyball team before, but it has been fun to learn and it's been a good workout!

So this semester I decided that I wanted to take Book of Mormon and just take it as one full semester class. So I took the Book of Mormon: Mission Prep class. I hadn't ever thought about going on a mission, and didn't even consider that I would ever go on one. The class progressed, and I was learning so much. I loved this class because I learned so many great things about the Book of Mormon. My testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon has grown substantially. I finished reading the whole Book of Mormon for the first time on May 31. It was a great experience to read the whole book in one month. So one day in class, we were listening to a talk by Elder Bednar to the missionaries in the MTC in Utah. It was so powerful and as I listened to Elder Bednar spoke, I felt the spirit so strong and had the feeling that this is something that I have a passion for: sharing the gospel with others and serving others. I knew that I had a strong testimony of the truthfulness of this church, and that I could help people who didn't have the fulness of the truth. These thoughts scared me because I had never thought of making the sacrifice of going on a mission. I knew that I should pray to my Heavenly Father because He would have the answers for me. As I went to the temple to pray, the feeling that I should go on a mission just got stronger and stronger. I got even more scared because I felt as though God was telling me that this was something that I should start to consider in my life. From that Monday on, I couldn't think about anything other than a mission. In any decision I would make, I would take into consideration, "What if I go on a mission?". I was pretty stressed out, but I knew that if this is what the Lord wanted me to do, then He would give me the strength, courage and comfort to do this. He would provide me means for me to go on a mission. I talked with my Bishop about it a couple weeks later and he told me when I asked what he thought, "Jamie, I think you already know what you want and what Heavenly Father wants you to do". I did. I knew that this is something that I would love to do, would be such a great experience, and that Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I went out with the sister missionaries a couple weeks later for part of a day, and it confirmed my decision. I started my paper work a few days later.

Since then, there has been so much opposition to me going on a mission, but I still do believe that this is something that I should be doing. My family was so understanding and supportive at first, they thought it would be a good experience for me. Now my dad says he doesn't support this mission because of various reasons. This is difficult for me because I rely a lot on the support of my family, but I am not fully relying on my Heavenly Father for support. My little sister is still supportive, but she is very sad about me leaving for a year and a half. We are best friends and I am scared to leave her, but I know that my family will be blessed for me going on a mission. I trust my Heavenly Father to take care of them while I'm away. It's hard for me to have this opposition, especially when it's my family because I love my family very much and value their opinion, but I know that the direction I'm headed is the way I'm supposed to be going. It has helped me rely on my Father in Heaven for strength and comfort during this time.

Pretty much those are the big things that are going on in my life. I am very excited about my mission. I have some mixed feelings about going home because I know if I go on my mission in the fall, I won't see my friends here for a long time, but I'm also so very excited to see my family again and my church back home. I miss everyone so very much.

Well, I'll try to be a little better about writing more consistently on my blog, but I'll wrap this up for now. Thanks for taking the time to read this whole thing! haha :)

whirlwind of a week!

2010-02-26T01:25:00.003-05:00

So this week has been crazy hectic! I thought last week with exams and such was busy, but this week was even worse, and next week isn't all that promising to get better haha. But such is life right? I'm a college student, who am I to complain about work, it's what I'm here to do! :)

So this week, I've been struggling with something from my past. I know all past sins are forgiven if repented for and my baptism has made me clean of all that, which I am so grateful for! Something else that has helped is a discussion I had with someone a while back about how in order for Christ to atone for our sins, he had to have full knowledge of every sin that we would commit. This is comforting in the fact that Christ knew of all my sins I have and will commit, yet he still has an unconditional love for me. Despite knowing all of this, I still struggle with this thing in my past and have a hard time forgiving myself for it. I want to just be rid of it and allow myself to be clean, but it's still very much on my mind, especially recently. I don't know what to do about it, I think I will talk to my bishop and see what he has to say. I just wish I could let it go, but maybe it's a good thing that I remember it because it's by our mistakes that we learn. I know that I am a completely different person now and have made a wonderful transformation into this blessed church, which I am so grateful for, yet I can't help but hold that person I used to be over my head and feel a sense of guilt still... Maybe time and prayer will be my healer, I guess we'll see what bishop has to say. :/

I went to the temple today and fasted, which helped a tremendous amount. I was really blessed while I was there, as I feel like I always am. It's so wonderful! I read Isaiah 58, which talked about the law of fasting. It was helpful to hear how fasting could help me lighten my burdens and be of such comfort. I am thankful for the scriptures because they are such a light in my life and provide such comfort in hard times. Just today, my friend Cameron showed me a verse, Ether 3:2-4. It's such a humble prayer and so faithful. I absolutely fell in love with it! :) I love finding new scripture verses that inspire me! :)

Blessings

2010-02-22T17:07:00.003-05:00

Yesterday our home teachers came over and taught the monthly lesson. It was a great lesson! They focused on the part about Patriarchal blessings and gave me a great idea about how to read my Patriarchal blessing. He told us to make lots of copies of it and whenever we read it to highlight parts of it, and make footnotes, add scriptures that help us. We can then go back to it and see how our Patriarchal blessing has helped us in so many various ways. I thought this was a great idea! :)

Another idea that was helpful that was to email 10 people that you're really close with and ask them to name 5 positive traits about you. He said that when he got each email back it was amazing how each person said almost the exact same traits. He said to then compare those traits to your Patriarchal Blessing and see how it is integrated into that. I thought that was a cool also because it may help you see if you're truly living out who you want to be and if people can see those traits in the way you act. I think that would be helpful.

On Saturday, two of my roommates, their friend Nicole, and I went to the temple and it was amazing as always. There was a story laminated there about how this girl went to the temple and had to wait 2 and a half hours. She was getting pretty impatient and then realized that the people who they were being baptized for had been waiting for much longer, some even a couple hundred years! I was touched by this and it really made it so much more personal to each person that I was baptized for. Whitney and I were talking quietly as we were waiting and she had read the story as well and she was moved by the story as well. She whispered to me that she can imagine that my mom is so happy that she doesn't have to wait any longer for her baptism and confirmation. She told me that she is sure that my mom has accepted the work that has been done for her. I sure hope so. I want so bad to see her again.

During church this Sunday there were so many great talks! In one talk, he spoke about how the opportunity was given to him to help someone learn more about the church and he knew that it would help her. I thought that was so amazing because he said that he knows that those experiences can happen to all of us if we are worthy of it and ready. I want to make sure I am prepared and worthy so that I can truly be used to help people come to know of the truth. Another girl spoke about how she sincerely appreciated the blessings in her life, even though the past month had been a nightmare for her. I was so impressed by her strength and love for God that she could see the light through the darkness so clearly.

This whole weekend has been amazing and has really helped me see that I should write down all the blessings in my life and sincerely thank our Heavenly Father for them because I know there are so many! I am so grateful for my life, family, friends, where I am, and all the wonderful things that has happened since I've joined this church! :)

Trying something new

2010-02-12T00:59:00.002-05:00

I'm just writing a quick post before I go to bed for the night. I am trying something new to enhance my spiritual life. I want to get the most out of being here at BYU-I and I can do that by keeping the Holy Ghost with me by living righteously. I know this isn't the easiest task ever, but I want to try my hardest to do so. So these are some things that I came up with to help with that. 1) Read scriptures every day. 2) Pray not only in the morning and night, but whenever I feel led to, for example during struggles, times of thankfulness, and times of insight or question. 3) Only get on facebook once a day, as to not cause a distraction and lead to procrastination. 4) Do 2 acts of service each week. 5) Perform 3 random acts of kindness every day 6) Have 2 spiritual discussions every day. 7) Do no gossip about anyone, and deter others from doing so as well.

If you guys have any more suggestions or anything important that I may be forgetting PLEASE comment and let me know because I am sincerely trying to work hard at this and want to know if there is anything else I can be doing! Thanks! :) Love you all, you're in my prayers! Goodnight!

Best Sunday ever!

2010-02-08T01:07:00.002-05:00

Today was such a wonderful day! I know I was blessed by it being fast Sunday. I woke up and got ready for church with my roommates. I got to church and had this burning feeling in my heart that I have come to associate with the Holy Ghost. I got up and bore my testimony and hearing everyone else's testimonies was amazing! It was such a powerful sacrament meeting. The rest of church went so well! After church, I made valentine cards for my roommates :) Then I went to the nursing home with some people from my ward to help with their sacrament meeting. I gave a talk on thankfulness and gratitude. I felt the spirit so strong there too! :) It was so wonderful! I loved seeing the faces of the elderly people and how passionate they still were about God and the church. It made me realize how lucky I am to be part of this church. After I got back home, I started making dinner because every Sunday, my apartment eats dinner together family style! I love it! :) So we all sat down and had a Valentine's day dinner because none of us are going to be here next weekend. We all just relaxed and hung out for a bit afterwards and I could feel the love in our apartment overflowing. I am so lucky to be living here. I just felt so blessed and appreciative today for my life and everyone and everything in it! I had such a wonderful day. It was a great start to the week and much needed after yesterday! :)

Happy Birthday Mom

2010-02-06T11:18:00.002-05:00

Today is my mom's birthday and I almost didn't remember. I'm starting to not remember the little things about her. The way she smelled, smiled, laughed. I thought I would always remember her birthday, anniversary of her death, mothers day, etc. I don't want to forget those things. It's hard not having anyone here to talk about it with. I have the girls in my apartment to talk to, and they know about my mom's death, but we're going to the temple today and I don't want to ruin the spirit for anyone. We have all these fun things planned to do, and while i'm excited about them, I can help but feel distracted. I miss my mom so much and I wish she was here so I could call her and sing her happy birthday. The girls here are so close to their moms it's great, but it makes me jealous. I know that this happened for a reason and I should learn to overcome it and try to draw the good out of life instead of feeling sad, but somedays it's too hard. Somedays I just can't pull myself together to do that. On those days I really wish I were back home, but I pray to Heavenly Father asking for comfort and peace and know that the day will pass and I can make it through. I'm sorry that this post is so sad, i just needed to vent. I love you all for reading this. If you could pray for me today for comfort and peace, I would appreciate that!

Wishing and hoping

2010-01-20T00:34:00.002-05:00

This past weekend was awesome because it was a 3 day weekend! We had monday off, which was fantastic! Friday I went to a concert with friends and hung out and watched a movie with some friends at their apartment. Saturday consisted of working out, doing homework, hanging out with the girls in my apartment, shopping, and watching yet another movie (we watch a lot of movies haha) Sunday we went to church, came home and made dinner, then watched a movie, then hung out with our home teachers for a bit. Monday I worked out, got my haircut, which I am a bit frusterated about... I'm just thankful that most of the people i know and love are back home and Matt is on his mission, therefore I have time to let it grow out! :p I asked her to cut it shoulder length and it is currently up to my jaw line... yeah she is apparently not used to cutting curls! :/ So i'm adapting to it, but still am not a big fan.

Today, I had a good and bad day. My first class, Family foundations, was amazing as always, but we talked about being sealed to your parents. I asked him if there were consequences for not being sealed to your parents and he said there were certain blessing that one was given for being sealed to one's parents. I don't want to miss out on those blessings, but I feel like I don't have much control over it. I went to the temple in between classes today to pick up my mom's pink paper because I had the rest of her work done. I asked them what needed to be done for me to be sealed to her and they told me that I needed to get her parents information and then seal her to them. Problem #1, they are still alive and I fear that they will not convert. They are pretty set on their ways. I only pray that God finds a way to reach them. My mom then has to be sealed to my dad. Problem #2, they were divorced, Problem #3, my dad is quite angry at my mom, and Problem #4, he is looking to get married sometime soon. Only after all that can I be sealed to my parents. I fear that I will have to wait for my entire family to pass away before I can get any of this done. This is both frusterating and sad. I want to be sealed to my parents so much, but no one in my family is remotely close to believing in God. I got so upset after leaving the temple. I cried/prayed the whole way back to campus and the Holy Ghost reminded me that all things can be done through our Heavenly Father and our beloved brother, Jesus Christ. I pray for patience, strength, courage, wisdom and guidance to know what to do about my family, but I have faith.

That is all that has been going on lately, I am keeping busy with classes and having an amazing time meeting new people and having so much fun with my roomies! :) I have kept everyone in my prayers and hope all is well back on the east coast!

Update!

2010-01-16T18:51:00.002-05:00

Wow so it's been awhile since I've written. I am terrible at keeping up with blogs, but also it's just been so busy here! Today has been a good relaxing day for all the girls in my apartment. It's nice. We woke up late, had breakfast, hung out, did an 80's dance work out together (HAHALARIOUS!) now we're all just napping and relaxing. It's a nice 3 day weekend so it'll be good to catch up on sleep and homework! :)

So my classes are going so well! I love my family foundations, persuasion, and intro to counseling and psychotherapy. My history and systems of Psychology is a bit on the boring side, but I am learning new stuff about the founders of psychology which is cool. I like my american foundations class, but not a huge history fan. I do like however how the teacher incorporates God into the history of our nation, it makes it very interesting. I do like my science foundations class as well, it boggles my mind about some of the things we're learning about. Just last class we learned about the stars, galaxies and such and it's amazing how many stars there are, how big the galaxy is, etc. It blows my mind! :)

I am LOVING my apartment. The girls are just so awesome! we hang out together all the time, chat about life, doctrine, and boys of course! :) Two of the girls have missionaries out right now so we talk about that a lot! hehe It's nice having them to talk and vent to! Dawn is the best roomie ever! She's so rambunctious and bubbly! I love her spirit and she makes me smile a whole lot! Not to mention she's just a wonderful person all the way around! I can't believe I lucked out with having so many amazing roommates!

There are so many things to do! Just last night we went to a concert where one of our friends was playing, there was latin dancing, which I did not join in on because my feet hurt so much, but I will most definitely go with Dawn some other time and have her teach me to dance! :) There's just so many things to do!

I absolutely love how strong the spirit is here! I have felt so happy, comforted, loved, and accepted! I am learning so much stuff about the doctrine in my classes and it's amazing! I find that when I have a discussion with someone and I don't fully understand it, it is somehow incorporated in one of my classes! It's stuff like that that I know this church is true! It's so amazing to hear all the wonderful things about our doctrine! I love learning more and more! I had a really cool experience the other night as well!

It was Tuesday night I believe, and I was saying my prayer right before bed and I felt this sudden urge to just be alone as if God wanted me to be alone so that I could sincerely hear the message that He wanted to send me. So I went out into the living room and sat in the dark with my eyes closed. I sat for a little while until I swear I thought I heard my mom's voice. The voice was soft yet clear. It sounded so much like her, and it was saying that she wanted the rest of her work finished. I had done her baptism and confirmation on Dec 12th, but wanted to wait until I could do her other work myself, yet I felt so strongly as if that night she was telling me to just have someone else do it and get it done. After that I felt the spirit so strong still so I figured I would ask for clarification on a question I had. Earlier that day in my family foundations class we learned some pretty heavy and deep doctrine about how Heavenly Father's Father was a God and His father was a God, etc and how Heavenly father was not the one who created the plan of salvation, but it has been around forever. It was a concept I hadn't heard of before, and couldn't fully grasp it. I asked God that night to help me understand better, my eyes were closed the entire time and I saw myself looking upon a world and looking to create life and God was telling me that the perfect plan is the plan of salvation, and it is the only one that could be used because of it's perfection. I understood that every God in the past must have been using it for all eternity because it's the perfect and only plan. I feel so blessed to have these experiences and I love feeling so close to the Heavenly father.

So on Thursday I went to the temple and submitted my mom's paper to get her work done. I then did baptisms and it was a wonderful experience! :) I love having the temple so close! So that's my update for now! I will try to write again sooner this time!

My new journey!

2010-01-03T20:58:00.002-05:00

I got to Idaho on Friday, or technically 1am Saturday morning! It was a long day of flying, but everything went smoothly! I was a mix of emotions coming here: nervous, excited, sad, happy, haha everything all at once! I came with my dad, which has been so great! I've really gotten to bond with him. I am glad he is here because it has made this transition much easier!

So on Saturday we moved all my stuff into my apartment, met two of my roomates, who were very nice, went to walmart to buy the necessary things, went to orientation stuff, and went to dinner. Then my dad left to go back to his hotel and I hung out with this girl Lauren that I met. She was in my apartment, but then found out that she was supposed to be in 307 not 305. She's still close by which is nice, but it would have been cool to have her as an apartment-mate!

Sunday I went to church, and my dad came with me, which I thought was great of him to do because a) he's not a morning person, and b) he's not too big on going to church. I am very grateful for having such a supporting dad! :) We came back to the apartment and helped Lauren move into the apartment two doors down, then we left to go to my dad's hotel to go swimming. We got back to the apartment a bit later and Dawn was there! We were both so excited we screamed and hugged each other like 5 times! haha It was good to see a familiar face! :) I think rooming with Dawn will be awesome! She's a great person and I think we'll have lots of fun! So Dawn and I hung out a bit and we helped Whitney move stuff in and we packed up our rooms, then we had some people over and had dinner together. We played Wii for a little bit and that was fun, then we just chatted and cleaned up! It seems like everyone in the apartment is on the same page as far as cleanliness and such, so that's definitely good! I think we'll all get along quite well.

I'm very excited for this semester to begin! Everyone is so nice here! I'm excited for my classes, i think they'll be really great! There seems to be so much to do here! I'm pretty excited to meet new people and hang out. Everyone is so friendly and people stop by the apartment all the time to just say hi and meet my roomates and I. It's lots of fun!

I love the town of rexburg! It's a lot bigger and more commercialized than I thought it would be. I'm pretty sure they have every fast food place here. I am going to enjoy living here! :)

I do miss people back home and in Mass, but i will do my best to keep in touch with them regularly. I do need to be better about that! So that's the update on what's been going on here! :) It's been great!

God's instrument

2009-12-26T23:54:00.002-05:00

I am excited to go to Idaho in a few days, but am nervous to leave my family. I have never been this far away from home for so long. I worry that I will not be able to be there for my family when they need me. I struggle with not being able to be there physically with people that I love when they're sad or dealing with something. I think this will strengthen me in that way though. Maybe I will learn to trust that the Lord will take care of the ones that I love when I can't always be there. I often find it easier to trust in the Lord to help me with my problems, but struggle with trusting Him to help others that I love.

I think this new transition will strengthen me in many ways. I can strengthen my testimony by learning more about the doctrine and hearing others testimonies. I am looking forward to taking religion classes and learning more about the doctrine. I am also looking forward to learning more about psychology and learning how to help people more and bettering my skills of counseling.

I am looking forward to meeting new people and being around those who share in the same beliefs as me. I am interested to see what kind of work God has planned for me there, whether it is work in me or work he wants me to do in others, probably both. I am excited for this new adventure!

Christmas time :)

2009-12-24T12:43:00.002-05:00

So with Christmas time being here, I am realizing the abundance of love that surrounds my life. I am becoming more aware and more grateful for this blessing that the Lord has so graciously given me. I have a family that is always there for me and friends who care about me. I am grateful for my daddy, who I have gotten the chance to know better as a person and not simply just my guardian. I am so lucky to have a dad who loves me so much and sacrifices so much to make his three girls happy. I have a best friend in my little sister, who I am so grateful for. She is the sunshine in my life. She can always make me smile. We have so much fun together. I have not always been keen to the idea of my dad having another woman, other than my mother, in his life, but I am becoming more aware of how much of a blessing she is in my life. She is a wonderful person who has been a great addition to our family. I am so blessed with all the spectacular people in my life! I am grateful for all of them and for the fact that God has opened my eyes to how blessed I am. I praise the Lord in thanks for them! :)

The Unknown

2009-12-22T02:28:00.003-05:00

So my dad has gone through a lot in his lifetime and at times it doesn't seem fair to him. I wonder why these things happen and why he has to endure so much pain. He's had to suffer through a divorce with my mom, and later her suicide. Now he is having to deal with the loss of his best friend since high school. I feel pained for him and although I have known Paul Legacy since the day I was born, I only feel a fraction of what my dad must feel. I want to take his pain away, but I know I can't. It hurts to see him in pain like this and not be able to help him. I somewhat know generally what he is feeling because I've experienced loss before, but cannot imagine loosing a best friend. I struggle with why these things happen to people because my dad does not deserve this, he has already been through so much. Why do bad things continue to pursue him?

Ever since my mom passed away, I've struggled with death. I am not scared for my own death, but more scared for when I die that I will leave loved ones behind to grieve. I also am terrified and get panic attacks that people are going to die. I can't deal with anyone leaving me permanently in my life. This is the first serious death I've had to deal with since my mom's, so it's kind of hard to take in. It brings up old feelings and especially heightens my fear of close ones to me dying. Paul died of a massive heart attack. He had 3 clogged arteries from blood clots. My dad has a high risk of getting blood clots because of his surgery and I am going on a plane ride with him to Idaho. I will be flying with just him and am supposed to watch out for him. I was not too worried about it before, but this is making me feel so uneasy because I don't know what I would do if my dad started having a heart attack. I know CPR, but mentally, I don't think I could handle it. I just CAN'T loose my dad too... I am so scared of loosing him. Paul's death has made me realize that life is so temporary and can end so quickly and unexpectedly. I am struggling with this a lot, but more than anything I am just worried about my dad and how he is doing. I am worried that his depression will come back.

If you read this, please just pray for my dad and my family. Please pray for Paul's girlfriend of about 5 or 6 years and his family. That would be the best thing you could do to help! I would appreciate that! Thank you.

Temple today!

2009-12-12T17:06:00.003-05:00

Today was such an amazing day! I went to the temple and did my mom's baptism! It was such an incredible experience. I was pretty nervous for some reason. My heart was pounding, but I was beaming from ear to ear the whole time. I got there and something wonderful happened right off. I saw two people from my ward in Essex, Ashley and Nancy Shamp. I had no clue they were going to be there but it was the best feeling to see them there. It was no coincidence that our paths crossed. I had such a warm feeling in my heart and I knew that this is where I should be. The Shamps have been such a leading guide to me in my faith. I first met them while investigating the church and fell in love with them. They have taken me into their home and made me feel so welcome. Seeing them at the temple gave me such comfort and joy that I could see them on such an important day for me. I was beaming even more after that. I held that pink slip in my hand with my mom's name on it and kept looking down at it, thinking to myself, "could this be real"? I have prayed for the past 6 years that I would get to be with my mom in Heaven. This was part of the process that will get me there. I pray now that she will accept it! The group that I went to do her baptism with was a spanish speaking group. That was pretty interesting. It was amazing to hear one of the brothers' prayer because it was all in spanish, yet I could understand enough of it to gather what he was saying. It was definitely help from God because I know during class I am never able to understand oral comprehension tests. The message in his prayer was power, I was actually grateful that it was in spanish, partly because it made me listen that much more intently. The volunteer workers spoke in english and they had a wonderful message too. One of the sisters spoke about it being our job to help the dead with the process to get to the celestial kingdom. They cannot do it without us and they rely on us to get them there. It was so powerful to me because I am hoping that my Mom was just waiting for me to do this so that she can get to the celestial kingdom. I want so badly just to see her again. When I got to the baptismal font I was pretty nervous, but so excited! :) I stepped into the warm water and when I went under I could feel this sense of weight lifted, like it's out of my hands now. I pray that she accepts it and I can see her again! After the baptism I felt overwhelmed with joy. I was sobbing with tears of happiness. I couldn't believe that I was finally getting the chance to do this for my mom. The confirmation after was incredible! I sat there feeling like a power or warmth was being spread into me and then being released as if going to my mom through me. It was amazing! I was so grateful that The Fitzgeralds and the Williams could be there for that wonderful experience! I felt such a sense of joy afterwards. It was amazing to know that part of her work is done and she can have the opportunity to accept it! :)

New Blog

2009-12-10T14:12:00.003-05:00

I am starting this blog site to try and write down some of my insights and thoughts. I seem to do a lot of thinking, yet never seem to take time to write any of it down. I think it will be helpful to organize my thoughts and also good to be able to look back on previous posts and reflect on them again. I hope to do this fairly frequently, although I haven't been too good about keeping up with blogs or journals in the past, but I hope to be better about that here. I hope you enjoy reading whatever posts I have. Feel free to comment on them, and give your own insight. I would love to see what thoughts you have about any given topic I write about. Thanks! God Bless! :)